


Reciprocity

by windscryer



Series: Maja's Platonic VLD Week 2017 [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Caretaking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Female Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Platonic Relationships, Platonic VLD Week, lance and pidge brotp is my JAM, offscreen hurt/onscreen comfort, pidge makes questionable life choices, that she does so to protect others is no justification
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-01
Updated: 2017-03-01
Packaged: 2018-09-27 15:44:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10029719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/windscryer/pseuds/windscryer
Summary: Pidge absolutely trusts her family, both blood and not. She just doesn't want to see them hurt. That this might be how she hurts them didn't quite occur to her before now.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Platonic VLD Week Day 3: Bonding/Lions! \o/
> 
> Not really betaed, but Lucy flailed over it, so I'm calling it good. :D (That said, if you see mistakes, do feel free to point them out.)

_Pidge._

She tapped the end of her stylus on the desk as she tried to figure out if this A should have a grave or acute accent in English. She wasn’t actually sure it should have either, but her knowledge of Earth languages was limited to Romantic ones and a tiny smattering of Russian from her one uncle. They were hardly representative of all the possible diacritical marks used on the planet.

_Pidge._

Then again, it wasn’t like she was translating this for publication, it was just a set of flash cards. She could make up her own accent for all that it mattered, as long as it helped her remember what sound it should make.

_Katie?_

Still, if there was a correct way to transliterate it from Altean, she’d prefer to get it right now than have to relearn it later.

“Hmm.” She frowned, wondering if any of her fellow paladins knew any third or more languages that might help. Japanese and Korean probably weren’t going to help at all since they had to be transliterated too, and Spanish she already knew. Maybe Samoan? She wasn’t familiar enough with it to know for sure, though she didn’t remember seeing any accent types other than the one line thingy. And the apostrophes, but she wasn’t even sure that counted for this scenario.

She stared at the wall, chewing on her lip.

When her name wasn’t called again, she eventually let her shoulders relax a little.

Yes, she was ignoring her Lion and, no, she wasn’t really proud of herself, but she wasn’t really interested in a lecture either. She’d already gotten one from Shiro _and_ Allura and a tiny one from Coran, too, though he’d been gentler about it as he helped her into one of the suits for her session in the pod.

She wasn’t putting too much hope in not getting ones from the rest of the team either. They’d just been temporarily diverted by Coran and then Shiro when he’d escorted her back to her room and told them to let her rest.

And she didn’t know how long that would last, so if she wanted to make progress today on this project while she had a little free time, she needed to get back to it. Maybe she should just write out the vowels and correct it later. It would at least let her—

**_Katherine._ **

The stylus went flying and hit the wall, bouncing, then rolling away toward the door.

She watched it go, then sighed.

An artificial intelligence over 10,000 years old probably had more patience than the entire length of her comparatively short lifespan, she supposed. A shame they couldn’t share that through the bond. She could use it when Lance was being particularly _Lance_.

Maybe she could head it off, though?

“Look, I know it was a bad idea, but I couldn’t just _leave_ them there. They were innocent civilians and I’m a Defender of the Universe, right? That’s…” Her shoulders slumped. “It’s a big responsibility. I don’t wanna screw it up.”

_You will not. Even when you make mistakes. As long as you are doing your best, it is enough._

“Yeah, but sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes people still die and I—” She swiped at her face, even though there were no tears yet. Her skin was hot and prickly though and it was only a matter of time. “I could have—”

_No. My Paladin, you are but one tiny cub. You have great skill and power and intelligence, especially with the cooperation of the rest of the paladins, and you are learning to use it for a greater good, but you are still a single being._

Yeah, there they were. She folded the end of her sleeve over her hand and wiped again, sniffling and wishing she’d thought to get some tissues on the way here.

 _That is the concern I had for you today. I am not merely upset that you were injured, but that you did not ask for help and that is_ why _you were injured. What is the purpose of having five paladins if not so they will help each other?_

Pidge cringed. “I didn’t want any of them to get hurt too.”

_But they should be satisfied that you were instead? When they could have prevented it?_

She shook her head, “It’s not like that. I mean, I know they’re not okay with it, but…” She pulled her knees up to her chest, absently rubbing at the place where her brain said it _should_ hurt, even if it didn’t really.

A wave of cold fear washed over her like a bucket of ice water and her stomach twisted at the memory of seeing the piece of metal going in one side of her calf and coming out the other. The very thought of that happening to Lance or Hunk or— No.

She gagged and pressed a hand to her mouth.

Everyone was fine. She closed her eyes and imagined each one of them as she had last seen them, worried about her, but unhurt. They were all fine and after a day in the pod so was she. There wasn’t even much of a scar, just a little puckered patch of skin on each side that she could hide under her thumb with ease.

Green’s voice was full of concern and apology when she said, _It is over and, as you said, everyone is fine._ The feeling of strength and determination and safety built in Pidge’s mind like a space heater being turned on and radiating warmth.

It banished the dark and cold and soothed away the sickness until Pidge was almost sleepy from the comfort. She turned her head to the side and rested it on her knees again, eyes half closed.

“I’m sorry I worried everyone,” she said. “I just need them to be okay. I can’t—” She shut off the thoughts of Matt and her dad, but not before Green got a glimpse.

 _You have not failed them either. You will yet have a chance to find them and bring them home, but_ only _if you are more careful and ask for help when you need it._

A sensation not unlike being nuzzled by a softer, more Earth-sized lion filled her chest and she bit her lip against a fresh wave of tears.

 _Let your new family help you find your first one. And help them in return. Zarkon has many resources at his disposal and he knows how to use them to his advantage. But even as a Paladin he was never very good at relying on others, at helping them. Please do not make his mistake, Katie. Use that to_ your _advantage and he cannot win._

She snorted and wiped her face again. “Well when you put it like that, it seems stupid not to.”

There was a knock at her door and she lifted her head and wiped again at her face. It was still puffy and prickly and no doubt red and blotchy, but whatever. They’d all seen her looking worse.

“Come in!” she called.

The door slid open to reveal Lance with a box of tissues and two mugs of something steaming.

“Hey,” he said, “so, uh, a not-so-little birdie told me that you might need these?” He lifted the tissues up. “This was all me, though,” he added, gesturing carefully with the mugs.

She laughed and waved him in. _Tattletale_ , she silently accused.

 _I do not know this word,_ Green said without even really trying to pretend like she wasn’t lying. _Perhaps we can discuss it later._

 _Oh we’re_ definitely _going to talk about it later,_ Pidge assured her. _Make no mistake about that._

Lance tossed her the tissues, which she caught and pulled a handful out to blow her nose, and then sat down, turning and folding into a tailor’s seat. When she had mirrored the pose and set aside the tissues, he offered her one of the mugs.

“It’s not cocoa, which is obviously the best choice for this kind of thing, with its healing properties and all,” he said with a wink, making her laugh again. “It’s some kind of Altean flower tea, but with enough sugar it’s not so bad. And after the pods, anything warm is good, right?”

Pidge blew on the top of the pale amberish-pink liquid and then took a careful sip.

It was warm and, as promised, sweet and, no, it wasn’t cocoa, but it was a pretty good substitute all the same. It almost tasted kind of like a raspberry-peach tea she’d had back on Earth once or twice.

“It’s really nice,” she said. “Thanks, Lance.”

“Of course.” He took a sip of his own, then drummed his fingers on the mug. “I mean, it’s the least I can do since I wasn’t there to help you on the planet.” His gaze flicked toward her and away again, brow furrowing.

Pidge didn’t need Green to drop a match on the shame roiling in her stomach until her whole face was hot with it.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted. “That was my fault.”

“What?” Lance said, turning to face her again, eyebrows rising. “No, it wasn’t, Pidge—”

“It was. It really was. I should have asked for help and I didn’t because—” She shook her head, sighing. “It’s stupid and it doesn’t matter. Green already told me why it was wrong. I…” She hesitated, because she was pretty sure she was supposed to say she wouldn’t do it again, but she wasn’t sure she _could_ promise that.

Even if she didn’t want to hurt the others like she had, she also didn’t want to drag them into trouble with her and get them hurt that way either. There wasn’t a good choice here, she realized with no small amount of despair.

 _Trusting your family is a good choice_ , Green countered. _It may not prevent injury, but you do not need to bear it alone. Wounds of the flesh can heal much easier than wounds of the soul._

She hunched down over her mug and took a sip to give herself a reason not to answer even though it didn’t matter for this internal conversation.

“Pidge?” Lance said, laying a hand on her shoulder.

She looked up and he smiled when he met her gaze. Scooting around until he was next to her, he slid his hand around to her other side and pulled her in close for a hug.

“It’s scary,” he admitted. “Watching other people get hurt because of things you do. And it feels awful, especially when you think that maybe if you’d been better or faster or _more_ somehow, you could have prevented it. That you’re the reason they got hurt.” He rested his cheek on her head, enveloping her in the hug and his warmth.

“That’s not how it works, though. We have to help each other. That’s what family’s for.”

She sniffed. “That’s what Green said too.” She stared into the remains of her tea and added quietly, “She, um. Also said that Zarkon was really bad at that and she doesn’t want me to make the same mistake.”

Lance’s mug froze halfway to his mouth and his arm tightened around her, fingers pressing into her bicep. It should have been restrictive and worrisome, but it felt more like he was suddenly afraid she was going to be ripped away and wanted to keep a good grip on her so it didn’t happen.

That was almost enough to make her start crying again, but she pushed it down and drank more tea.

She heard him swallow and then he blew out a controlled breath and finished bringing his mug to his lips for a drink.

“Well we definitely don’t want that,” he agreed.

She looked up at him and found him giving her a slightly ragged, but mostly confident smile back. “Not that I’m really worried. You’re way too short to be a Stormtrooper, let alone Emperor Palpatine.”

“Hey!” she protested and elbowed him in the side, but the laugh that bubbled up with it was real and it took some of her worry with it. “I may be short, but at least I’m not a pipe cleaner with eyes like _some_ people around here.”

He made a noise of indignation and set aside his mug on her shelf, quickly snatching hers up as well, then wrapped one arm around her shoulder and pinned her back to his chest, mercilessly attacking her side with his fingers.

“I’ll teach you to make fun of my dashing good looks!”

Between giggles she managed to squeak out, “That’s only because people are _dashing_ away from you when they see you coming! _Lance!_ ” she squealed when he doubled down.

There was another knock and then the door opened to reveal Hunk and Keith.

The latter frowned and rushed over to intervene. “Should you be doing that? Let her go!”

Lance let Pidge be pulled away from him and Pidge didn’t fight it either, slumping into Keith’s side. After hesitantly hanging in the air, his arm settled tentatively around her shoulders.

“She’s supposed to be resting,” Keith said as Hunk came in to join them.

“Yeah,” Lance said, leaning back against the wall. “But I found her moping, which is not the same thing. Laughter is the best medicine, right?”

“It’s fine, Keith,” she said, patting his chest as she straightened up. “I had an older brother. If I didn’t want to be tickled, I am definitely capable of escaping and turning the tables on him. I prefer to let revenge simmer for awhile though,” she added, giving Lance her best evil smirk. “The building sense of dread is half the fun.” She waggled her eyebrows.

“Oh you’re definitely gonna regret that, buddy,” Hunk said. “Take it from the voice of experience.”

Lance snorted. “I have experience of my own, thanks,” he said dryly. “Which is why I’m not worried.” He pointed a finger at her. “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on you for taking advantage of my trusting nature.”

Pidge smiled sweetly. “Which is why it won’t be anything like last time.”

His mouth snapped shut and he actually looked vaguely worried for a moment, which was all she really wanted out of life right then.

“So did you all come to lecture me?” she asked, looking up at Keith and Hunk. “Because I don’t really want to hear it again, but I kind of feel like I should just to have the complete set.”

Keith frowned, but then relented with a shake of his head and a sigh. “No. Just… don’t do it again, okay?” He looked away and she snugged her arm around his waist and squeezed.

“I’ll try,” she said. That was a promise she could at least consider keeping.

“So, lectures aside—and, seriously, please don’t do that again. Okay, that’s all I’m going to say,” Hunk put his hands up and made like he was wiping away the rest of the lecture, “but… yeah. _Please._ —we also came to see if you were hungry. I can bring it here if you’re still tired, but you really should eat something. Pods really take it out of you and the last thing we need is you being all light-headed from low blood sugar.”

There was a not-so-subtle nudge in her head. _If you must worry them, at least let them satisfy themselves that you are all right afterward._

She mentally rolled her eyes, but didn’t argue.

“Nah, I’ll come and eat with everyone else. Coran says I shouldn’t take it too easy anyway, or I’ll stiffen up,” she added, lifting her leg and flexing her ankle.

She looked up from examining it to see everyone either looking away or staring at it, all of their expressions as nauseated and distressed as she’d felt earlier.

Keith’s hand squeezed her shoulder, his jaw stiff.

Rather than comment on it and make him more uncomfortable, she turned, dragging him with her and waved to the others.

“Come on. Let’s go. Lance, bring the mugs, please. Hunk’s food is waiting and I can’t wait to see what he made tonight.”

They trooped out, Keith making a token protest at her continued use of him as a crutch, but when she resisted letting go, he gave in easily enough.

She knew it wouldn’t be easy to ask next time, but she could admit (even if only in her own mind) that maybe Green had a point: This was her family. They clearly trusted her and they deserved no less in return.


End file.
